One of the first tweets I read a few days ago was Malcolm Levene’s “If you continually move the goal post, you deprive yourself from being potentially happy. ” Now, while I believe he is making a valid point and I know what he is saying, it got me thinking. Why do we assume that happiness will be achieved when we reach our goals? How often do we say “I will be happy when….. I am two stone lighter, have a boyfriend, have a Porsche, am successful, have a zillion pounds…..”? The list is endless.
I believe in goal setting and I know that I am my happiest when I have a mountain to climb and I know which mountain to climb, but why wait until the summit to feel happy? Happiness is not something attached to an aspiration. It is not something out there for you to achieve. It is a choice.
We choose what we pay attention to. We are all capable of happiness, it’s in us already. Watch any baby laughing at something silly like peek-a-boo and you know that happiness is something within. So how do we choose happiness?
Start noticing when you are happy. If you are feeling down, it might only be for a short fragment of time. It can be as simple as a smile when you see someone, enjoying a cup of tea, smelling a flower, hearing a song on the radio. Pay attention when you catch yourself feeling happy and notice what it feels like. There is a lot of truth is in the old saying “Count your blessings”. You might find it useful to write down things that have made you happy during the day, things that you have seen, heard and felt. After a while it will become easier to notice when you are happy. You can choose what you pay attention to and you never know, happiness might sneak up on you!
Nicky Kriel
Nicky Kriel is a Social Media Coach & Trainer inspiring, educating and empowering Business Owners to use Social Media more strategically. She is also the author of How to Twitter for Business Success. For more information visit http://www.nickykriel.com or to find out about her courses that she runs in Guildford visit http://www.nickykriel.com/courses
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I love your comment why wait until you reach the summit to be happy – be happy with the journey too. That hit a personal note with me particularly as I build a business to support mums returning to work.
The experience along the way is as important as the end result. Thanks for that nugget. I’ll be adding to my notebook of gems which I use when in need of some encouragement. Majella
I am happy when I am thinking about what will make me happy – it leads to virtuous cycles and vicious circles, but makes life interesting.
It’s a terrific article Nicky!
It’s a great article Nicky. I can say I was very happy today walking in the Surrey Hills. Great advice to us all to get out there and do more of the things we really enjoy. When we are happy we make better company too.
I few years back I realised that I was happy. Somewhere along the line I’d made a subconscious decision that I would be, so I was. In the office I enjoyed making people smile when I could point out the silver lining in the most challenging situation. Someone once commented, “David is good for team spirit … once you can understand his sense of humour.” I have a feeling that realising you can make people smile helps with your own happiness. Being an eternal optimist helps too. As does the ability to move on when something doesn’t work out. I am sure that much of this is inbuilt but equally I am sure that you can decide to be like this and then believe it because you keep telling yourself that you are.
Love your comment, maybe I should have titled my article, “Realising Happiness”! Happiness comes from within, it is not out there to be found. I am glad you are spreading your happiness around!
As you say Nicky – happiness is a choice not an aspiration – although sometimes I need to remind myself so I have a book near my desk ‘A Thousand Paths to Happiness’ and one of quotes says:
Happiness is being someone -not something.
So true!
I identify very strongly with David (above). I wish more people would acknowledge to themselves when they are happy. Realising that you are happy is a very special thing, and it transmits to others. I once wrote an article about bliss; I described it as those moments when you suddenly realise you are happy and allow yourself to savour the moment, guilt-free, and let it replenish you. Once I realised what that felt like, it became easier to recognise more readily. This has given me more confidence and a calmer and more tolerant disposition in general, which in turn keeps me happy and others around me more relaxed and positive.
Happiness is a state of mind that really depends how we see the situations in our lives each day. you can have all the riches in the world but still see it as a lonely place.-~,
Happiness is the goal of every human being in this planet , everyone wants to be happy’.;
true happiness can be difficult to achieve, you can be rich but still not be truly happy :-~